What’s Your Focus?

When my mother retired, she took up quilting. She was already a fabulous seamstress, so it was a natural progression. She found a club, and then a mentor. She gained a stash of fat quarters, patterns, friends, and memories. But she never found satisfaction with her quilts.

After she completed each quilt, she’d lay it out for display. As people oohed and ahhed over the fabric, she’d second guess her choices. “Yes, yes, it’s pretty. But there were some other colors and patterns. Maybe I should have gone with those choices.” An admirer would complement the pattern, and my mom would sigh. “Yes, I just fell in love with the pattern. But I had to change it slightly, and I don’t think it looks as nice.” It never failed—with every quilt she’d second guess herself. And point out all her mistakes.

“See, see right here? I didn’t get the corners quite together. There’s a gap, do you see it?” “Oh, I totally flubbed this part right here! I ripped it out four times before I gave up. I just couldn’t do it!” None of us could see a single imperfection, until my mother pointed out each one. Sometimes even then we still couldn’t see them. 

I keep several of my mom’s quilts out for display, and I was looking at them recently. I remembered how much time she spent fretting over the mistakes, the imperfections. Then I realized I do the same thing. After I publish a book or an article, I go back and read it. “Oh, I should have used a different, more descriptive verb!” “Why did I write about that subject, anyway? It’s so boring!”

I think as humans, we focus on the perceived mistakes, the missteps, the failures. Do we ever take a breath, take a few steps back, and view the entire finished product? Do we see the beauty, or do we see the ugly?

Here’s another question: how do we see other people? Do we focus on their perceived mistakes, missteps, and failures? Or do we take a breath, take a few steps back, and view the entire work in progress? Because we are all works in progress. Are we focusing on the beauty of each person, or the ugly?
 

Jann Goar Franklin graduated Russellville High School in 1989. You can reach her at jann@jannfranklin.com