Every morning, before the coffee is brewed and the day fully begins, I bow my head and begin my prayers. They’re not elaborate but they are heartfelt. For my children I ask God, show me how to love them best.
Each of my kids is uniquely wonderful in their own way—different in personality, in dreams, in the way they navigate life. As their mother (and mother-in-law), my love for them is unwavering. But love isn’t about a feeling. It’s about showing up in ways that matter, offering encouragement at the right moments, holding back when silence is needed, speaking the words they long to hear. And that’s what I ask God to help me understand better.
I don’t pray for one child to be favored over another. I don’t ask that one relationship flourish while another struggles. What I ask is for wisdom—for the ability to recognize what Nathan needs most, what Cameron longs for, what Kat and Gracie might hold close to their hearts but not always say out loud. I pray for guidance in loving each of them in the way that speaks to them, not just in the way that feels natural to me. Because love is not one-size-fits-all.
Nathan may need steady reassurance the new house and the new job are both going to turn out just fine. Cameron may need laughter, a lightness in conversation that reminds him not to take life so seriously. Kat may appreciate gentle words of affirmation, while Gracie could need thoughtful space—a love that respects boundaries but remains ever-present.
Without guidance, without intentionality, love can sometimes feel like a guessing game. But I don’t want to guess. I want to love them in the way their hearts need most.
So, every day, I ask God, show me how to love them best. And He does. He reminds me to pause before speaking, to see beyond my own perspective and listen with care. He nudges me to send the message, to make the call or the text, to say the words that might feel small but carry great meaning. He gently directs me toward kindness, toward patience, toward the quiet strength a mother’s love is meant to provide.
Parenting does not end when children grow into adults. It evolves. The love remains, steady as ever, but the way it is expressed must shift with time. And sometimes, in that shift, we must seek guidance—not just to love them deeply, but to love them well. Because in the end, the love we give is not about how much we feel—it is about how much we show.
Jann Goar Franklin graduated Russellville High School in 1985 and lives in Grand Cane, Louisiana. She also writes books, which are for sale at The Village Loft in downtown Grand Cane and Chapters and Charms in Stonewall. You can learn more about her at www.jannfranklin.com, or reach her at jann@jannfranklin.com