As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten more cynical. Soon I’ll be shaking my fist and yelling, “You kids get off my lawn!” Although the only kids that have been on my lawn are my own, so maybe not. But I’ve embraced those senior citizen feelings, and I’ve added the familiar quotes to my conversations. “Back in my day…” “When I was a kid, my parents wouldn’t have let me do that…” and so on and so on.
When my kids were young, I received lots of parenting advice, mostly from people I hadn’t asked. Sometimes I read books, sometimes I asked parents of well behaved children. They were the gurus of raising kids, and their suggestions ranged from logical to completely out of the box.
There’s a particular bit of advice I received almost twenty years ago. I found it brilliant. Since then, I’ve passed it along to a few parents, and most have called it “abusive.” I’m curious what you think—please let me know. It’s called “The Cup Half Full Principle.”
My friend Cindy had a son the same age as Nathan—at the time around ten. But her son was grateful, appreciative really, towards everything Cindy gave him or did for him. I cornered her one afternoon and begged her to share. “How did you raise a child who thanks you for everything?” I was lucky to get a grunt from my kids.
Cindy shared this lesson she taught her kids. As soon as her rugrats could talk and ask for a drink, she pulled out a cup and filled it a quarter full. Initially she heard, “But Mom--I want more!” Cindy took the cup and threw the contents into the sink. Then she handed the empty cup back to her astonished child. “There now--would you rather have this cup, or the one you had before?” Soon her children belted out, “thank you, Mommy” for everything.
Yeah, her lesson could be called traumatizing, abusive, or simply mean. I hear you. But I’ll tell you this--Cindy’s kids might be the most grateful human beings on this planet. Gratitude is something our world is missing. We live in the greatest country in the world, with the most and the best of everything. Why aren’t we grateful? Because society tells us we deserve more, instead of telling us to be grateful for all that we have. Gratitude is something to be embraced, to be thankful for. Maybe we should start grabbing people’s cups and tossing out the contents. It could be a revolution.
Jann Goar Franklin graduated Russellville High School in 1985 and lives in Grand Cane, Louisiana. She also writes books, which are for sale at www.jannfranklin.com. You can reach her at jann@jannfranklin.com