During the last few months, I’ve spent many weekends with family and friends. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve hugged, and we’ve laughed some more. One constant practice in our visits is retelling our favorite memories. Some good and some bad, but it doesn’t matter. Those shared moments always come up in conversation.
I’ve thought about the memories we hashed out over the holidays, and I’ve cherished the new ones made. For our family, we added a daughter-in-law, Kat. She and our other daughter-in-law, Gracie, attended their first Goar family reunion. It takes place the weekend after Thanksgiving, and this year we had twenty-seven people. It was a weekend of performing music, eating food, playing games, and competing in the annual side dish contest (complete with a trophy.)
Those young ladies impressed the heck out of me! They learned everyone’s names and how we’re all related. They jumped in and played every game pulled out of the cabinet, including the giant Jenga. Cameron has started learning the guitar and played his first concert—three generations of men and women. He and Gracie baked cornbread for the contest, and celebrated their cousin and his winning recipe—Cipollini Onions with Balsamic Glaze. Try saying that three times fast! I cried a bit, like I always do, because I realize how precious those moments are.
Love is essential in a relationship; I’m not arguing that. But I’ve decided that memories may be just as important. When our lives are filled with blessings, we count them with joy and store them away like treasures. And when we go through hard times, we reach into our store of joyful memories to remind us of better circumstances. As we add more people to our lives (new friendships and new family members), we think back to those no longer with us. Those thoughts push us to dig deep and wrap treasured memories around us like cozy blankets. The sadness is still in our hearts, but the joyful memories ease the pain a bit.
When I’m by myself without a good book or television show, my mind wanders off on its own. It strolls first one way then another, stopping as it comes upon a memory. My eyes focus on one of my mother’s quilts, or a photo of the kids twenty years ago. Sometimes my brain just takes off without any prompting and pulls out memories I’d forgotten. In no time I’ve traveled into the past, flipping through time like a magazine. I zip past the sad moments and settle myself into the joyful ones. If I’m feeling ambitious, I’ll pull out a photo album and enhance the experience.
I’ve decided it isn’t just love that keeps a relationship green and growing. We need those treasures, those shared memories from each relationship to keep it strong and healthy.
Jann Goar Franklin graduated Russellville High School in 1985 and lives in Grand Cane, Louisiana. She also writes books, which are for sale at www.jannfranklin.com. You can reach her at jann@jannfranklin.com